today was a normal day. my daughter had her 2 month appointment this morning and she got her first set of shots - she did as well as a baby could do, but my heart did ache for her when she started crying. my son was there as well, but i couldn't see his reaction to his sister getting shots because i was trying to video it for my husband. my son did ask if his baby sister was going to be sad because of the shots, and i told him yes and that no one likes shots, and he agreed that he did not like them either lol. then we swung through CFA after i found a gift card in my wallet. funds are tight with me not having a job right now, so randomly finding that card was nice, and my son got to have a little ice cream too.
i feel the need to be more present with him. he's 4 and i feel like i've been terrible at spending playtime with him and teaching him basic things for preschool. so, today, i spent a little time with him playing in his room while sister slept. but i still found myself snapping at him for little things and forgetting my patience. i need to bring this up to my pcp when i see her next week for a post-partum conversation. i'll do better with him tomorrow.
baby girl was pretty tuckered out after the shots and slept nearly the rest of the day. once, when she did wake up, she was inconsolable, so i gave her some tylenol per the doctor's instructions, and it really seemed to help ease her pain, as the rest of the night up until bedtime she was much calmer. i'm hoping she won't wake up too much during the night more than normal.
i probably need to keep finding and applying to jobs tomorrow, even though i really don't want to return to work just quite yet. i didn't put my son into daycare until he was a year old and even then i worked at the daycare, so he had me with him still until he was about 2.5, then he went to another daycare without me when i started a new job. so, the idea of sending my daughter into daycare so young and without me... it tears me apart. i just can't do it. i want to wait until at least a year like i did with my boy, even if it means we have to be on tight budgets until then.
i'm not sure what i'm planning on doing tomorrow. laundry is definitely on my list, as it is literally everyday, and i really need to tidy up baby's room so it can actually be functional. i did my son's room last week and purged things and organized, and i did my closet a few weeks ago, so now it's time for her room. but i'm lazy XD i might go over to my parent's house for a little bit too, just to hang out. it can feel lonely here at the house with the kids, but i also hate feeling like an intrusion when i go over there. but at least i'll get some adult interaction and give my boy some time to play with his cousin, maybe even go in the pool.
well, that's all i've got for today. i don't know if i'll do the diary entries daily, but i think they will be very often as this is new and exciting to me, even if no one is reading it. it feels therapeutic, which isn't surprising to me since i've always been one to journal my thoughts and feelings.
until next time, ciao!!
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